Cobbled Carpet Ride

As classics season builds to its crescendo with the Ronde van Vlaanderen this weekend, American cycling fanatics have a new outlet for both their cobbled craze and home improvement fever, two things that have seen massive spikes during the Covid-19 pandemic. Now, those interests converge with new cobbled carpets coming to you directly from West Flanders. 

Flemish engineers have developed a new “weave technique” that, instead of using cutting edge fibers and space-age polymers, uses Belgium’s ancient pavers, and horse glue.

Carpet engineer Ewould told Peloton how the whole thing works. “Basically, we mix horse glue with a chemical mixture produced from local sugar beets, and a tiny bit of Rodenbach, and somehow that’s enough to hold all these stones together in one weave. This new carpet allows anyone to create their own private Paterberg on their patio. Heavy as hell though, truly.” 

Lab tested by Johan Museeuw, the Lion of Flanders, each carpet segment is about 10 meters. And so depending upon how committed fans are, they are able to go for short punchy helligen in place of, say, a stairwell, or they may opt to build an entire replica of the Koppenberg throughout their home.

A Las Vegas, Nevada, resident and cycling super-fan named Keith E. has so far been the products biggest customer, buying up 70-percent of what has so far been produced. “My wife is out of town visiting family and so it seemed like a perfect time for a remodel. We were kicking the idea of new hardwood around, but I’ve ordered enough of these cobbled carpet squares to replace the flooring in nearly every square inch of the house. We’ve got to modify the stairs—well, they used to be stairs but now they’re just wicked steep bergs. I’m pretty sure my wife is going to love it. I hope… maybe?” 

Bring a piece of Flanders home for a limited time only. Order yours now at: